Hey Deviantart.

I ain't dead, but i am still sick. I think, my imagined worlds caught up with me and paralyzed me somewhat around this time last year. The longer that thing keeps leeching at my brain the more cramped it gets with ideas and things I need to say. There is a difference between having no ideas or not being motivated to finish a picture and being that afraid to draw and to face it, that one would rather sleep and crawl under the cowers or in distracting interweb worlds. I never felt that cramped, that afraid in my life. Well, I am in professional care but I have been since month and i WANT to come back, WANT to loose all those ideas to paper. I do not understand my sickness or what it is doing to me. It is irrational and frustrating. How can some electrical currents, some stupid hormons or synapses or Didgeridoos misguide you so much?


I miss being here or at other art communities, hell, I miss living these worlds and being ignighted with ideas that just want to be left on paper. As long as i don't have that I am not alive. Well, but I am not dead either and try to draw the best from hit. Draw! Hah! Ingenious Pun.

... I will be so emberassed ...
Thank you for reading and standing by.

gab